Heartbroken

I've never really dealt with any "controversial" issues on my blog - until now. And I realize I'm probably about to turn off some folks. But, I created this blog as an opportunity to share my feelings and I feel very strongly about this issue so here goes. I am heartbroken as I type this because I found out this morning that a Christian musician who I have admired for years (including singing most of the songs he's written) has "come out" as a homosexual. Now, sadly that's becoming less shocking as of late, but the difference is that instead of saying he is "struggling with homosexuality" and plans to seek counsel, he has decided that God wants him to live that lifestyle. The artist I'm speaking of is Ray Boltz. Here is his quote from the gay magazine that includes the interview:

“If this is the way God made me, then this is the way I’m going to live. It’s not like God made me this way and he’ll send me to hell if I am who he created me to be … I really feel closer to God because I no longer hate myself.”

Ok, here's my take on that flawed thinking. First, while I agree that God may have created Ray with the propensity to feel those urges, those urges won't send him to hell. And he should know that if he is truly a Christian to begin with. We are sent to hell for not having a personal relationship with Christ and NO OTHER REASON. But, let me clarify that if you are living in sin (ANY sin) and don't feel the Holy Spirit convicting you, then you may want to think about you salvation experience. Second, he feels closer to God because he's given in to his desires and doesn't hate himself anymore? So, if I'm feeling distant from God and feeling guilty because He says someting I'm doing is wrong (pick any sin) then just decide that there's actually nothing wrong with it and I'll feel better about myself and closer to God? Just ignore the inner moral compass that's telling me it's wrong? That's some seriously wacky thinking.

Let me clarify that I have people very close to me (VERY) who are gay and while they are fully aware that I will never accept their lifestyle as anything but a sin, they know that I love them very much. There's the key, too. It's a sin - just like the ones I commit. It's not worse or better than the ones I'm guilty of. It's just sin. The difference is that I say, " I'm going to work not do it anymore." Ray has said, "I'm going to continue doing it the rest of my life." Oh, and I'm not a homophobe, either. Because the "homophobe" label that is thrown around every time this subject is brought up is soooooooo misused. A phobia is:

"a persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it. " -Webster's

I do not have an irrational fear or compelling desire to avoid homosexuals. Neither do MOST of those who oppose the lifestyle. That word is nothing more than the same "hate speech" that gay-rights activists accuse us of using so they can brand us in the hope that no one will listen to what we have to say.

So let me close by saying that I know I have offended some and probably alienated others. This is how I feel, however, and it's not going to change. Just like the many who put down my other religious convictions and beliefs have a right to believe and say what they feel, I have the right to share my feelings. Let me be clear, however, that I may not belief the homosexuality lifestyle to be "correct," but I'll be one of the first ones in line to help ANYONE who wants to leave the lifestyle, and they are ALWAYS welcome in our church along with the rest of us who are just sinners asking for daily forgiveness and grace from the God who made us all for one reason, to worship Him.

iGot one!

Warning, Will Robinson, Techno Geek levels reaching critical stage! For the past 5 years my wife and I have been a member of the "prepaid" wireless family. Why? Because we NEVER used the cell phone enough to warrant the monthly commitment. Well, with my wife's new job requiring her to drive a good distance to work, I didn't want to rely on enough time being left on her phone if she really needed me for something, so this weekend we made the trek to our local ATT store and walked out with an LG Shine for her and this little baby on the left for me. Now I hear the questions from my parents and those of you on the frugal end of the spectrum. Did I NEED an iPhone? No. Did I WANT an iPhone? You bet your sweet patooty I did. As they handed the activated iPhone to me in the store my wife cradled her hands around it and sang an angelic "aaaaaah" as if light were descending from the ceiling. Yes, she was mocking my geekiness but I don't care. I had bided my time, done the research, and saved up to buy it. It wasn't exactly an "impuse purchase." She wasn't exactly bored with her choice, either. As a matter of fact, as we were seated at our booth in Chili's later than evening for dinner, we spent the first 20 minutes of our time playing with our phones as if the other person weren't even there. So, maybe someone else has a little techno geek in her blood. And, as her husband I think I'm entitled to say that's just a little hot.

Where's the mint under my pillow?

Aaaaaaaaaaargh! Okay, I don't usually rant on this blog but there are some things that just set me off. Living in Louisiana, we get to experience the "fun" of dealing with hurricanes. Now, up here in North Louisiana we usually just get a little wind and a lot of rain, but we also play host to the several hundred thousand south Louisianians who come up for shelter from the storm. Wait, let me reemphasize the word "shelter." "Shelter" does not imply you'll have the same living conditions that you left, and it sure doesn't imply luxury, so I get VERY upset when those who have been pushed from their homes by a storm seek SHELTER in our city and then complain that it doesn't meet their standards. GIVE ME A BREAK! Yes, some of the shelters could have had more ammenities, but come on people! A multitude of people from this area gave their vacation time and days off to come to your aid with medical attention and other NECESSITIES, not to mention the HUGE amount of items donated by our community so you didn't have to buy food, water, diapers, etc. One gentleman was quoted as saying, "this city had 3 years to get ready in case a hurricane hit again..." Yes sir, and YOU had 3 years to put aside some money so you could afford a hotel in case of an emergency (something you should expect since you CHOSE to live on the coast where hurricanes are common). Why does a lack of planning on your part become somebody else's fault? The straw on the proverbial camel's back last night was a comment by a lady who said, "I'll get a blanket and sleep out here on the sidewalk before I go back in that place." Hmmm...anybody got a blanket?

Where were you?

As I was creating this video for our 9/11 remembrance service this Sunday I thought back, as I always do this time of year, about where I was that morning that the world became a little scarier place. As I drove to work at the engineering company that morning, I was listening to public radio (I'd never really listened to it before). They were talking about a plane that had somehow crashed into one of the "twin towers." By the time I'd parked my car and ridden the elevator to the 14th floor there was a group in the kitchen huddled around the small television watching coverage of the second plane and what was now being considered a possible terrorist attack. As the morning progressed, other planes were hijacked, buildings fell, and we all began to feel a little less safe. Suddenly, all the stuff that had preoccupied our lives failed to seem as important as being close to those we loved. As the days turned to weeks, and weeks to months and then years, controversy swirled. Who was at fault? Who could really be considered a hero? Over the past 7 years it seems "We will not forget" has been...well, forgotten. So, let's set aside our differences on fault, war, conspiracy theories, and just REMEMBER those whose lives changed more than we could ever imagine or even want to imagine. Press forward, but never forget.

An astronaut, a scientist, and a missionary were riding down the road...

Ok, here's the setup. I picked up my son, his best friend, and his friend's brother from school yesterday. They all jump in the back, buckle up, and we begin the 20 minute commute home. It is always an interesting ride back to the house as they talk about school, gym, classmates, etc. Yesterday the conversation somehow switched to their aspirations when they grow up. My son still drifts between several careers but seems to always come back to 'astronaut' (making his space geek dad sooooo proud). Well, I was informed yesterday that my son is going to be an astronaut, his friend is going to be a scientist that is going to be resposible for getting him into space as soon as he can "figure out how to make robotic joints work" (what?), and his brother is going to be a missionary in some remote country. So, what intellictual debate did this backseat full of potential then begin discussing - the fact that the lunchroom chicken fingers are much better with gravy on them than they are just plain. Yeah, they're still kids.

Somewhere in the middle you'll find me...

"Fearless warriors in a picket fence,
reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end,
and we are caught in the middle.

With eyes wide open to the differences
the God we want and the God who is
but will we trade our dreams for His
or are we caught in the middle?"
-Somewhere in the Middle
Casting Crowns

Friday afternoon was the culmination of a month-long lesson in total faith and dependance upon God where our family got pushed off the fence.

About two months ago my wife was offered an incredible job that would allow us to send our son to a local private school; something we weren't able to afford before. The job was offered, salary agreed upon, and starting date set. From the beginning it was obvious that God was laying every step out before us. The salary was just what we needed, we found a second car we could afford, school registration was going great...then it happened. Long story short, the job was pulled and posted on the internet for applicants, then the salary fell through. Suddenly our "sure thing" wasn't so sure. Our inital response was "oh, no! What are we going to do now?" Then that "still small voice" said, "You trusted me when it was easy to see me. Are you going to trust me now that I'm not making it so obvious?" So we we pressed on. We got school uniforms not knowing if we'd be able to afford school, kept the car not knowing if we'd be able to make the first payment next month, and we prayed. What happened? Let me just say that last Monday we didn't know what would happen. One week later, our son left for his new school this morning and my wife is headed to do paperwork for her new job. Yes, some would call us stupid to have pressed on not knowing what was in future. But we knew, one way or another, it would work out. And whether it was the way WE wanted it to or not, it would be what was best for us. To quote another song of faith, "All I have NEEDED thy hand has provided. Great is thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me."

Everybody Dance Now!

Ok, I realize I'm really going overboard on the video posts but I HAD to share this one. I saw this a few years ago and had completely forgotten about it. I just ran across it again and I think I laughed harder this time. It's almost like he CAN'T help but dance. It's silly, yes, but I'm just that kind of guy.

Old friends are good to find

Do you ever really think you're going to be old enough to have "old friends?" Over the past month I have reconnected with a few people who I graduated high school with. To see their pictures and hear the stories of their teenage children makes me initally say "WOW, they're old!" Then I realize I'm as old as they are and have my own family. I also realize, though, that we're not REALLY old. Life is about growing older and learning lessons. So if it's really all just a state of mind we're all still sitting on the band bus, or in Mrs. Eva Parks' class, or painting prison stripes on t-shirts. Go Big Green!

My little Brother

Here's my little brother (the guy in the tux, the leather jacket, the mask, etc.) This is a "Broadway show-stoppers" show he helped a guy produce earlier this year. I'm a proud big brother.

A pretty cool brother-in-law

Just a clip from my B-I-L's vlog (search for 'blirm') on YouTube. He makes me laugh.

*NOTE* If you follow the link to his vlog on YouTube keep in mind that not all of the videos are kid-friendly due to some language.

It's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

About 3 weeks ago my Mac suffered an error that left it in a coma. I say "coma" because at first I thought it was dead but, after 3 weeks of sweating, pacing, and basically coming to terms with the idea that I was going to have to spend life without a Mac I was able to revive it last week. I'm such a geeky Mac kind of guy that I almost cried. (sad, huh?) I have a PC that I do all my boring work stuff on but I wasn't sure how I was going to make it (seriously) without that Mac. Oh well, just had to share. You Mac folk will understand.

Something Happens

Ok, I just had to show off the incredible "Voices of Praise." The name of the song is also a predictor of future events every time this incredible choir sings this equally incredible song. I get the pleasure of leading this great choir every week. I've never been as blessed to be a part of such a great group of people. Enjoy!

The writers are back!

It's so great to have the writers back on my favorite shows! Seeing commercial after commercial advertising upcoming new episodes is as exciting as watching TV in the summer just waiting on those season opener teasers. And they haven't disappointed, either.

Two of my favorites, Smallville and CSI: Miami, have come out of the chute with two weeks of great episodes. CSI has been so good that I've actually foregone my usual Horatio jokes. And Smallville, well, being a proudly professed Smallville geek I can only say they did a great job jumping back into the story and seem to be winding up to an finale that will make Summer torturous.

Now, if Journeyman and Chuck can get back on track I'll be a happy little couch tater. I'm not really a BIG television watcher. Smallville is usually my "appointment television" but these two new shows both have something that really entertains me. I've really been drawn in by the premise of Journeyman. It's almost like a new version of Quantum Leap (for those old enough to remember that show). And Chuck is just a goofy show that I'm pretty sure only appeals to that small group of geeky guys like me and our sons who inherited our sense of humor, much to our wives' annoyance.

So, thank you, great wielders of the pen (or keyboard). Write on as we sit, eagerly, on the edge of our sofas and recliners awaiting your next bounty of dramatic/comedic artistry.

Oh yeah, I have a blog!

I figured since it's been almost a year to the day since my last post that I should at least post SOMETHING. A lot's changed in a year. The most recent being me hitting the Big "4-0". Yes, I've hit that age that, at 21, seemed so very old. Now? Not so much. It actually came and went without much trama at all. Of course my wife made sure everyone at work knew about it by decorating my office with all sorts of age-defining balloons, stickers, streamers, etc. All in all, though, it's not bad. I'm 40...

My own birthday milestone held nothing to our son's double-digit birthday just recently. I wondered if he'd survive "9" and now I wonder if I'm going to survive "10." He reminded me on his birthday that in only 3 years he'll be a teenager and in 3 more years he'll be driving. Did I need to be reminded of that? No, I'm not thinking that I really needed to go down that road, yet.

So, I'm back to posting and the biggest thing that's happened in a year (at least that comes to mind) is that I turned 40? I need to get out more.